Here’s Why A Lot of People Struggle with Building Their Own Startup

And what you can do about it.

Building a startup is as easy as getting started on it. But what gets in the way?

The feeling that your work, skills, or situation somehow isnt enough, is powerful enough to stop you on your road to success.

Most people (myself included) used to give hundreds of reasons why a startup was difficult to build: I don’t have money was the most common one. Others are: It’s not the right time, I’m unsure about it, It seems risky, I cant decide, I dont know where to start, and on and on.

Notice, none of these reasons actually include: I dont have the skill to do it. THAT is where people are the most mistaken. Entrepreneurial aptitude is built over time, and over constant failures. The truth is, you have the ability to do it, but you are standing in your own way.

How Shame Ruins Your Confidence

How many times have you gotten started on a simple project, but all of sudden start doubting yourself. “What am I doing thats different? A hundred people are doing the same thing.” “This isn’t for me, I’m not ______ enough.” Smart. Hard-working. Disciplined. You name it, fill in the blanks.

That’s shame talking.

Shame is the voice in our heads that talks us out of any meaningful growth. Shame is that warm wash that makes us feel flawed and not enough. Its the quiet voice that pushes us away from hard work and struggle, to defend our ego, or to drive us to hopelessness. When you get started working on anything — programming an application, building a website, starting a small business, or even sharing your idea with people you love — shame is there. Here are some common shame traps for entrepreneurs that prevent them from building anything meaningful:

1. You share your idea with enthusiasm to friends or family, and they shoot it down. “Whats different about it? Theres this other app that does the same thing. It’s not a big enough market. Who would want this?” And the breaking down of your initial enthusiasm goes on. Dont let this stop you from building the thing you are excited about. To counter this, simply dont share anything until you’re done working on it. If you shared already, remember that what makes it unique, different, and meaningful, is you. And you arent those people, your product is not the same. It has components of your thoughts, your love, and your dedication embdedded into it.
2. Comparison: You look at all the competitors and realize you’re not doing anything new or completely different. This is false, you are not the founder of some other company, you are you. Don't compare. Your contribution and take on the problem is as unique as your fingerprint. You will notice things others do not.
3. Fear of failure: “What if I fail? I’ll be a complete failure!” Nope. IT failed, but you cant fail. Only the project fails. In fact, having built anything from start to finish successfully should re-enforce the idea that you are indeed a successful entrepreneur.
4. You show your app to someone and they say: “Its full of bugs, this app sucks.” Ouch. Months of slaving away for this kind of response? The trick here is to dig deeper. What sucks about it? What specifically is it that makes it bad? If it crashes a lot, then just fix the bugs, and it wont suck anymore. If the design is off, take inspiration from other developers who have shared their designs. If it doesnt feel unique, come up with new things you can add or change to make it feel different in the users hands. The trick here is to shift the focus from yourself, to the product. Whats wrong with IT? (Not with me, for not creating the next google on my first try.)

The bottom line is: Shame is a focus on yourself, instead of the product.

You are not your product. The better you can separate your actions, from who you are, the better you will be at combating shame.

Is it all about me? Am I the reason for not being a billionaire by 25 and globally known by 30? Is my software garbage because I’m garbage? No. Shame has a tendency to shift the blame to ourselves, and away from the product. We can change what we do, and the world will change around us. Shame paralyzes us, and makes us blind to the simple fact, that what we do and who we are, is different.

In Entrepreneurship

For entrepreneurs this means separating our taste, our product ideas, and the success and/or failure of our products from who we are. We are not the product of our products. We are human. And we love building, and creating new things.

Shame paralyzes us, and makes us blind to the simple fact, that what we do and who we are, is different.

The courage, and innovation, comes from choosing to venture out into the world and create what we want to see in the world around us. THAT is where most of the courage is required. Not in celebrating the outcome of a large success.

You cannot get to the latter, without the former.

You have to wade into the deep end of your soul, in order to bring out meaningful change to the world around you.